


Dear John, I see it all know that you're gone

by Drhair76



Series: And you understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars [2]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Absent Parents, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Brotherly Steve Harrington & Dustin Henderson, Child Neglect, Established Jonathan Byers/Steve Harrington/Nancy Wheeler, F/F, F/M, Family Dynamics, Family Feels, Gen, Good Babysitter Steve Harrington, Good Parent Joyce Byers, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Minor Eleven | Jane Hopper/Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Minor Will Byers/Mike Wheeler, Protective Dustin Henderson, Protective Jonathan Byers, Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington Friendship, Self-Esteem Issues, Steve Harrington Needs a Hug, Steve Harrington-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-08-23 10:55:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20241688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drhair76/pseuds/Drhair76
Summary: His eyes were still on Steve, who hadn't noticed them yet. Steve looked fine enough. Smiling, eyes crinkling, listening attentively to whatever it was that Robin and Dustin were saying.Nancy peeked out from behind him and frowned. "Is that a bruise?""I think so." Jonathan answered haltingly."Huh." She said after a moment. "That's weird."or, Steve's been keeping secrets.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings for Child abuse, neglect and alcoholism. 
> 
> (yes I KNOW I put my baby through so much but I CAN'T HELP IT)

When Jonathan first saw the large purple bruise coloring Steve's jawline, he jolted backwards so fast that he accidentally bumped into Nancy and nearly knocked her down.

"Jonathan, what the fuck?" Nancy blurted, steadying herself on the wall behind her, just barely saving the drinks she had in her hands. 

"Um. Sorry." He apologized, his eyes were still on Steve, who hadn't noticed them yet. Steve _looked _fine enough. Smiling, eyes crinkling, listening attentively to whatever it was that Robin and Dustin were saying. 

Nancy peeked out from behind him and frowned. "Is that a bruise?" 

"I think so." Jonathan answered haltingly. 

"Huh." She said after a moment. "That's weird." 

Then she surged forward, walking like she was on a mission and Jonathan followed her, his mind still spinning. When Steve finally noticed them, his smile got ten times bigger before he winced because he must've forgotten that there was a bruise _on his face. _

"Hey guys!" 

Robin and Dustin both looked up and they also called out greetings. 

Nancy handed Steve his drink, a s'mores frappuccino that Jonathan had argued would give Steve diabetes only for Steve to protest that he would only get _maybe _a couple cavities. Nancy had retorted that that wasn't how that worked and she seemed to be on Jonathan's side and yet, here she was still buying them for him anyway. 

"Thanks babe." Steve curled both hands around the cup. "I owe you one. And you too Jon because you didn't go fucking berserk at me getting it." 

Jonathan gasped. "I _did not _go berserk last time." 

Steve shifted, cleared his throat and began to speak in a deeper, faster paced tone. "_Steve, you really shouldn't order that drink. You'll get diabetes and then because you're stubborn you'd keep drinking it and then you'd forget to take your meds and then you would die!" _

Nancy giggled. "You _did_ say that Jon." 

But then Robin leaned in slightly and frowned. "Steve, I can _smell _the sugar from here!" 

"Thank you Robin." 

"Hey!" Steve exclaimed, pointing a finger at Robin. "I don't judge you for putting fries on top of your pizza," then he rounded the finger onto Jonathan. "Nor do I judge you for eating macaroni and cheese with a spoon! So, do _not _judge me for my comfort drink, thank you very much."

"Macaroni and cheese should be eaten with a fork." Dustin chimed in. "Hey Steve, can I taste your drink?" 

Robin grumbled about fries on pizza being delicious, Nancy laughed at the way Steve curled his hands around his drink protectively and Jonathan was so busy trying to keep Dustin from being hooked onto the sugary monstrosity that Steve's bruise was forgotten. 

...

There was a bruise on Steve's lower back. 

It was possibly the size of Jonathan's palm but Jonathan could imagine that a hand didn't do that damage unless it was curled into a fist. It wasn't fresh, it had already faded into a weird pale green that sort of looked like Steve had accidentally fell on ome of Nancy's eyeshadow pallets. 

Jonathan had only noticed it because Max threw a pillow right at Steve's back, causing the shirt to ride up slightly. Steve and the kids were playing some type of free-for-all pillow fight that had, unsurprisingly, turned into everyone against Steve. 

Well, except for Jonathan and Nancy. They were smart and decided to sit this one out, leaving Steve all by himself. 

Jonathan spared a glance at Nancy, who was dozing with her head in his lap, before taking the plunge. 

"Hey Steve, what happened to your back?" 

It was brief but Jonathan saw it. 

Steve's shoulders tensed and bunched up, his head ducked and his fingers twitched for just a second. 

But then his face and body smoothed out and relaxed so quickly that Jonathan could've been convinced that it didn't happen at all. 

"I accidentally bumped against the corner of my dresser." He scoffed and he sounded so annoyed with himself that Jonathan smiled. "I mean, come _on, _how clumsy can you get? I'm not Dustin or anything." 

Steve barely ducked a pillow to the head at that. 

"Shut the hell up Harrington!" Dustin yelled, his curls peeking out from behind the makeshift fort they made out of chairs and cushions. "Everyone get him!" 

"I thought that's what you shitheads were already doing." Steve shot back. 

Then he threw Jonathan a calming smile. "It hurt pretty bad when it first happened but I hardly feel it now." Steve paused. "Hey, maybe that's _my _power El! Healing! Way cooler than yours!" 

Steve was met with three pillows nailing into right in the nose from El, Max and Mike. Dustin snorted loudly and Jonathan waited until Steve smiled dazily before laughing right along with him. 

...

Steve's chattering had been comfortable, warm and familiar white noise until it was interrupted. 

"Oh Steve, honey," Joyce said softly, "What's that?" 

Jonathan looked up from his film, Nancy looked up from her book and Will looked up from his sketchbook. Jonathan immediately zeroed in on Steve's hand, which had a bandage wrapped messily around the palm. 

Steve blinked and looked down at his hand, as if he didn't even know it was there. The sleeve of the sweater Steve had been wearing (Which was Jonathan's! Which would explain why his brain had completely blanked out at the sight of Steve in _Jonathan's_ sweater! Also Steve with sweater paws! Adorable!) had slipped down in the middle of his story due to the way he talked with his hands by using swooping and excited gestures. 

"Oh. Well, I-" Steve's face and ears got red. He let out a startled and nervous laugh, his eyes cutting to Jonathan and Nancy for a brief second. "It's a little embarrassing."

Joyce simply smiled, all reassuring and kind. 

"Heh. Well, I was trying to bake an apple pie for those two over there and I- well, I accidentally cut my hand." 

"Aw." Joyce gushed, the worried wrinkled in her forehead disappearing. 

Will looked excited. "Can I have some?" 

Steve's blush deepened. "Ah, I'd give you some but I got blood in the apples so I decided to scrap the whole thing. I'll leave the baking to Robin." 

"That's so sweet Steve." Nancy cooed, taking Steve's uninjured hand. 

Steve's brows furrowed adorably. "It's so sweet that I bloodied up your apples?" 

"No stupid!" Nancy scoffed with an eye-roll. "It's sweet that you tried." 

Jonathan smiled before lightly touching Steve's shoulder and getting up. "I'm going to go get the first aid kit so we can fix your terrible wrap job." He teased. 

Steve stuck his tongue out at Jonathan. 

"Oh Jon," Nancy laughed as he began to walk out. "Just wait until Christmas." 

...

The bed was cold. 

Jonathan was coming to realize that everywhere in the Harrington house was cold. The floors, the kitchen, the bedrooms. If Jonathan really wanted to test his theory, he'd go sit in Steve's closet because he was sure that it was even cold in there. 

But it might be a little weird for him to just sit in his boyfriend's closet. Lord knows Jonathan has had enough of _that. _

But still. The bed was cold. 

And this was significant in the fact that the bed was not cold when Jonathan had gotten into it, due to both Nancy _and _Steve's bodies being present. Jonathan could hear Nancy's soft snoring to his left, but when he looked to the right, Steve was nowhere to be found. 

Jonathan pushed the immediate and irrational thought of _demogorgons, blinking Christmas lights, bear traps, _out of his mind and decided to actually go and investigate before he woke Nancy up for no reason. 

He crept down the stairs slowly, expecting some creaking and getting nothing. There was absolute silence. Jonathan's house was _always _loud, creaking or shifting like it was the end times and Nancy's home had those three steps that she always unconsciously skipped. 

But Steve's stairs...just _didn't. _There was no warning creak or thump or noise of any kind 

_No way to hear if something was coming. _

Jonathan filed that away for something to be examined later and he peeked out into the living room. 

He breathed a slight sigh of relief when he saw the back of Steve's familiar mop of brown hair and was about to head back upstairs when he heard Steve speak in a soft tone. 

"You know you can always come here right?" He offered. "Your brother too. My parents are hardly home and if they are then Robin's aren't. Either one of us is going to be here." 

Jonathan paused, slightly transfixed. That was the tone that Steve adopted when Nancy or Robin seized up in panic or Jonathan tensed tightly and pulled away from them. That was the tone that Steve had when El was reminded of her Papa or when Will shivered a little too harshly. That was the tone Steve used when he was handling Holly or relaxing Dustin. 

That tone worked wonders. 

Jonathan could hear a slightly stuffy and wobbly voice reply. "I know but- but he's not going to want to come here. And- and especially not Robin's. Even if you _know." _

Max. 

Earlier, while Jonathan, Nancy and Steve were all curled up together in his couch blatantly ignoring a movie, someone knocked on the door. 

Steve tensed, relaxed then sighed heavily but untangled himself from the both of them to go answer it. He had a short conversation with someone and then came back to the living room with a tense face and Max, who had red eyes. 

Jonathan and Nancy tried to ask the girl what was wrong but she didn't seem to want to talk about it and Steve either _knew _what was wrong or made the decision not to pry because he simply gave her the remote and a couple of Nancy's leftover cookies and curled back up with Jonathan and Nancy. 

But this was confirmation. Steve apparently _knew _something. And it had to do with Billy. 

The puzzle that had been coming together for months in Jonathan's mind did not show him a nice picture and it was something that he desperately, _desperately _wanted to ignore. 

"Yeah," Steve sighed. "I know. Just- I want you to know that you can always talk to me okay? Even if I'm-" He paused and Jonathan frowned. "-you know. You can still talk to me." 

Jonathan has never hated the way Steve talked until right this second. If you wanted to get the whole story from Steve it would be best to look at him while he talked because he said a lot in gestures and looks and eyebrow movements that you wouldn't get from words. He liked to have you fill in the blanks whenever he got too flustered or choked up to say something. 

It was normally endearing. 

It kind of sucked right now. 

"Thanks Steve." Max replied, sounding drowsy and Steve hummed. 

Jonathan listened for more but it appeared that they were done talking. He slinked back up the noiseless steps and back into the cold bed. 

...

Kissing Nancy was sweet and soft and slow. All tender touches and gentle hands. It was like talking, his hand on the small of her back for support, her hand curling in his hair to gently tug him closer. 

Nancy moaned against his lips and gently pulled away to grasp for Steve's shirt. 

"Mhm, get over here." 

Jonathan watched Steve through half lidded eyes, expecting him to immediately fold closer and pull Nancy into a searing kiss, but he just shifted backwards. 

"Oh, I'm good." He said nervously. "You guys carry on." 

Nancy and Jonathan both immediately paused. 

"_You're...good_?" Nancy repeated incredulously. "What? What universe is this?"

"Yeah," Jonathan chuckled. "Who are you and what have you done with our boyfriend?" 

Steve rolled his eyes. "Ha _ha. _So funny. Listen, I'd love to get it on with you two sexy beasts but alas, I hurt my back playing basketball with Tommy earlier." 

Nancy frowned and opened her mouth to say something when Steve cut her off. "And yes, I had Mrs. Henderson check me out, I'm not dying. It's fine."

Nancy didn't look convinced. 

Steve ran a hand though his hair. "Look, I'll make it up to you guys in a couple of days when I have the all clear from my back. Until then, I can get out of your way." 

And _that _made Jonathan frown. Because he could see the beginnings of that shadowy insecurity that tugged at Steve sometimes. When he'd say things like _ah, you don't need me _or _I can't even pass that class _and try to pass them off as a joke, it never failed to ring alarm bells in Jonathan and Nancy's heads. 

So Jonathan moved forward and grabbed Steve's hand. He brushed his thumb over the scar that resided on his palm from a couple months ago. 

"You aren't in the way." He insisted. Nancy came up beside him and grabbed Steve's other hand and Jonathan was glad that they were almost always in sync. "You couldn't be." 

Steve blinked. 

"Yeah," Nancy smiled, warm and comforting. "Besides, I wanted to re-watch the Pitch Perfect movies anyway. I mean, you can't tell me that sex is better than _that." _

Steve laughed at that and Nancy and Jonathan shared a triumphant smile. Steve let go of their hands and curled one arm around Jonathan and the other around Nancy before pressing a kiss each upon their heads. They both automatically folded into Steve's sides; Nancy pressed her head into Steve's chest and Jonathan leaned into the crook of his neck. 

"You guys are the greatest." Steve said and it rumbled through Jonathan pleasantly, making him completely forget that it was raining outside and had been for two weeks. 

There was no way he could've played basketball with Tommy. 

...

Jonathan always thought it was weird that Steve was good with children. 

Not that he _couldn't be. _But it was just weird. Steve's house was always empty and he never talked about younger cousins. In fact, Jonathan noticed, that he hardly talked about family at all. 

Nancy talked about her mom all the time. Ranted about how she didn't trust Nancy and complained about how her father hardly asked about anything Nancy liked but she also hugged her mom before bed every night and made an effort to at least sit with her dad when the game was on. 

Jonathan loved to talk about his mom and Steve and Nancy loved to hear about her. He didn't have to do much talking about her recently because they enjoyed spending time with her just as much as _he _did and Joyce felt the same way.

He didn't talk about Lonnie much, but when he did it was in whispered tones. Steve and Nancy were always quiet and encouraging but never pressuring and it made Jonathan feel listened to and safe. 

But Steve hardly breathed a word, good or bad about his mother. Of course he said, _my dad's an asshole. Who's dad isn't? _It was passed off as a joke but there was a tightness to his smile that had made Jonathan frown. 

Steve never talked about family reunions or aunts or uncles or grandparents but he was _amazing_ with children. 

Which is probably why it came as no surprise to Jonathan that once Hopper came to the Byers house, that after talking with Max and Mike, El made a beeline for Steve. 

"Woah," Steve exclaimed as he was almost tackled by the girl. "Hey there kiddo, how's it going?" 

Jonathan looked over to Hopper, who had paused in his conversation with Joyce and Nancy to watch Steve and El with a warm smile. El and Will were always kiddo and it was said softly in a way that told them: _I'm here, I care. _

Jonathan once called it Steve's big brother voice and Steve had done the mature thing and stuck his tongue out at him. 

El pulled away and narrowed her eyes at Steve. Her face was suddenly very serious. "Are you okay?" 

Jonathan's eyes widened and he saw Hopper's shoulders tense. 

"What? Yeah, of course!" 

El's frowned deepened. "You promise?" 

And if Steve thought it was weird that Max, Will, Dustin and Jonathan were hanging onto his every word or that El's face and tone was as serious as if she was facing down a group of 'bad men', then he didn't show it. 

He simply smiled, a bright and light thing that was almost blinding and said, "I promise." 

...

"Do we have the cake? Are there candles on it? Does he actually really like chocolate banana?" 

Jonathan hurried forward and placed two steadying hands on his mom's shoulders. She was worrying at her bottom lip with her teeth and just the sight of it made Jonathan wince. He made a mental note to get her some more chapsticks. 

"Mom, relax. It's going to be great." Jonathan assured her. "He's not going to have a clue. Hopper will get him here easily. He'll be surprised and have a good time." 

Joyce inhaled and exhaled slowly. "You're right. You're right. 

Jonathan moved to head back into the den when Joyce spoke again. 

"You know, I still think we should've done this at the Wheelers." 

Jonathan turned back to respond when Nancy came into the room, a reassuring smile on her face. 

"Oh no," She laughed. "You should hear the way Steve gushes about your home. He loves it. And chocolate banana cake is his favorite, he'll adore it." 

Joyce nodded, giving a small, nervous smile and gently smoothing down her shirt. "Well, here's to hoping." 

Jonathan and Nancy linked hands and headed out into the den to get ready to surprise Steve. As they watched the kids chatter with Robin excitedly, Jonathan felt his stomach swoop with nerves. 

"Hey," He whispered quietly. "Do you really think he'll like this? He's not going to want a giant party with music and lights and a ton of people?" 

Nancy smiled knowingly. "Definitely not. Like you said earlier, it'll be great and he'll have a great time." 

Jonathan smiled weakly but that feeling of dread settled in his stomach and it didn't seem to be lifting anytime soon. They waited a little while longer before Jonathan wanted to curse his own instincts. 

El, who had been sitting on the couch squeezed between Max and Mike, jerked to her feet. A hush instantly fell over the kids as her eyes widened. 

"Something's wrong." 

Joyce turned away from the window to face El quickly. "Something's wrong? What do you me-" 

Then her phone rang. 

Everyone seemed to look at each other and hold their breaths as she reached for it. Jonathan noticed the tears quickly building in El's eyes and wanted to tell his mom, _no, no. Don't answer it. Let us live in peaceful ignorance for a little while longer. _

But she answered and took a shaky breath. 

"Hello?" Joyce's face changed from nervous and fearful to shocked and horrified to sorrowful and angry in such a short span of time that if she wasn't Jonathan's mother he wouldn't have even seen half those emotions. 

"R-right, right. Okay." 

The room was silent as she hung up and the room was silent as a couple of tears slipped down her cheeks. But then El let out a sound full of pain and practically threw herself onto Robin. 

"Mom?" Jonathan asked, but it didn't _sound _like him. It was all high, loud and desperate, pleading. "What's wrong? What happened?" 

She turned to Jonathan, her eyes dark and _haunted _and took a shuddering breath. 

"Steve's father hurt him." 

...

The only person who seemed to be able to hold themselves together was Max. It seemed that as soon as she heard those words leave Joyce's lips, she knew what to do. As if she had already had a plan, just in case. 

She pulled a sobbing El off of a pale Robin and gently ushered her into Mike's arms. Then she nudged him off, sending him deeper into the house, watching diligently to make sure that Will, Dustin and Lucas followed behind them. 

Jonathan watched this all happen with a blank face because now, _now _it was finally coming together. The bruise that Steve had on his jaw eight monthsago. The bruise on his back six months ago. The cut on his hand three months ago. The way his _back _hurt from 'basketball' just last month. 

Max shepherded them all to Jonathan's room, away from the front door, her face set in a grim line that screamed that she _knew _what she was doing and she's done it before and it suddenly hit Jonathan like a bat to the face. 

_"I know but- but he's not going to want to come here. And- and especially not Robin's. Even if you know." _

"How hurt is he?" Robin asked, a slight tinge of hysterical panic to her words. And if Steve were here, he'd immediately curl a hand into hers because that was what he _did_. He was easy smiles and comforting touches. He was reassuring words and playful glances. 

He would curl one hand into Robin's, curl the other into Nancy's and look Jonathan right in the eyes and say '_it's all good, I'm here.' _It would be slightly cocky, fixed with upturned lips but there would also be a note sincerity in it that said, '_I'm going to protect you. Nothing's going to get to you while I'm here.' _

But he _wasn't _here. And that was the whole problem. 

"Yeah," And Jonathan was almost shocked by how steady Nancy's voice was. "Does he need a hospital? Should we go?" 

Joyce inhaled again, then again and Jonathan watched her shoulders straighten. "He's coming here so we need to be ready. He's not badly hurt enough to need a hospital or an ambulance but it won't be pretty." 

Robin nodded shakily, Nancy's jaw tightened in determination and Jonathan matched his breaths in time with Joyce.

"I'll go get the first aid kit." 

...

It was not as bad as Jonathan had thought. 

His mind had plagued him with images of Steve with twisted limbs and broken bones, with deep gashes and pending stitches. Injuries so traumatic that the Byers first aid kit would do absolutely nothing for him. 

But Steve was standing. Sure, he was leaning heavily against Hopper, who had one arm curled around Steve's waist, but he was walking. 

But that did not mean that Steve was okay. 

He had a black eye that was dark and swollen, some scrapes across his cheekbones, a split lip that had blood trickling down Steve's chin. Jonathan absently wondered if Steve's dad had a ring on when he took a swing at him, then Jonathan decided that he didn't want to think about that. 

He hurried forward to take Steve's other side. Steve immediately leaned some of his weight into him, but Jonathan was happy to take it. Nancy edged close but stayed back and let them carefully, _gingerly _move Steve onto the couch.

Steve was slumped over, almost rag-doll like except for his moving legs. Jonathan felt him lean further into his side and pushed away the weird urge to shove Hopper away and take all of Steve's weight himself. 

Steve groaned lightly as they moved him onto the couch and his sweater, which was technically Jonathan, slipped down slightly and he could see another bruise on his chest. Before Jonathan could speak, Joyce, Nancy and Robin swooped in, carefully helping to clean off the blood.

Jonathan watched as Steve groaned softly, his eyes slightly glazed as he lazily tracked their movements and wondered if he had a concussion. 

"You're okay dumb ass, you're going to be _fine." _Robin muttered softly as she pressed a small band-aid onto one of his scrapes. "You were _stupid_ and I'll get you for not telling me later, but right now we've got you and you're going to be alright." 

Nancy gave up trying to clean off his face and simply brushed a hand through his wild hair. Steve's eyes fluttered closed at the touch and he melted into it. Jonathan stepped forward and Nancy, without looking, instantly took his hand. 

"He'll be okay." Hopper said quietly. "He has a concussion and he's an idiot, but he'll be fine." 

Joyce stood and took a step back, allowing for Jonathan to instantly take her place and sit beside Steve. Robin took the other side while Nancy turned to Hopper with a hard look in her eyes. 

"What happened to Mr. Harrington?" 

Then his mom, her voice watery, tight. "What happened in _general_?" 

Hopper sighed, a great heave of a thing that moved his whole body. "Well, when I got there the door was cracked a little. I only told Harrington that I was coming to pick him up and he didn't tell me that he'd leave the door open so I got suspicious. I walked in with my gun out and everything _seemed_ fine, but-" 

Hopper sighed again and quickly glanced down at Steve. 

"Steve was getting into it with his father. Neither of them were loud but they were _angry." _

And Jonathan had a hysterical thought of, _The Harrington house is so _quiet. 

"The mother was sitting at the table, just drinking a glass of wine, like they weren't fighting right next to her. Henry said something and Steve must've rolled his eyes or something because he just snapped and punched him right in the face." 

And Jonathan thought, _the black eye. _

Robin inhaled sharply and Nancy's hands curled into tight, tight fists. She was tense all over, shaking with anger but her eyes were bright with tears. 

"I stepped in when Steve doubled over but instead of stopping, Henry just slapped him while yelling about disrespect." 

_The scrapes. _

Hopper tensed then, his eyes going darker. "And so I pulled Steve away from him and put him behind me. Henry must've been drunk because then he came at _me." _

Joyce gasped, her eyes immediately filtering over Hopper for injuries but he merely held up a hand before gazing over at Steve, who was dozing on Robin's shoulder. 

"The kid, half dazed and in pain, stepped up in front of me and took another hit to the mouth. Protecting _me." _

And Jonathan, with a sinking stomach, ended his catalog. 

_The split lip. _

_..._

Hopper went off to the station to oversee Henry Harrington's arrest and Joyce left to go talk to the kids, leaving the three of them to watch over Steve. It was quiet for a while until- 

"I'm gonna punch him so hard in the mouth that he bites his own ice cold heart." Nancy growled. 

"Mr. Harrington?" Robin murmured, absently running her hand through Steve's hair. 

"_Yes_."

Jonathan laughed humorlessly, something dark and filled with anger. "I don't even think he has a heart. How could you do this to your own child? On their _birthday_?" 

Nancy caught his eyes and Jonathan's hot anger dissipated. Her eyes were bright and shiny with unshed tears and she was shaking like a leaf. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in, letting her hide her face in his chest. 

"He- he used to have little bruises and scrapes all the time Jon," She sniffled. "_All _the time. And he'd always say that he got into a fight or that they were from basketball practice." She pulled back slightly, with a horrified and distraught look on her face. 

"And I _believed _him." 

"Of all people, _I _should've seen." Jonathan sighed. He closed his eyes and pressed his face into Nancy's hair. Her arms, which were wound around his waist, tightened. "The signs were right in front of me." 

"The signs were right in front of all of us." Robin cut in. "We didn't see them because he didn't _want _us to." 

They all went quiet after that. 

...

Eventually they settled. 

Robin curled into Steve's side, Nancy into his other side and Jonathan draped a blanket over them, before squishing next to Nancy. The kids started trickling in with red rimmed eyes and pinched faces. Jonathan didn't think it was possible but somehow they ended up squishing all the kids on the couch with them. 

Robin scooted over so El and Max could be near Steve, Nancy moved over so Dustin could be on his other side. Will pressed himself close to Jonathan, on the side that Nancy wasn't on and Mike laid next to him. Lucas made his way to Robin's side, so he was close to both Max and Steve. 

It was quiet and warm and after a while, El spoke softly. 

"We'll keep him safe." 

El said everything like a vow. Jonathan could tell she meant this with her entire heart, her whole soul and everything in her power. 

And, of course-

_Friends don't lie._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I was mouthing off." Steve absently ran his tongue over his split lip. "I provoked him." Then he forced a smile, catching Jonathan's eyes. "You guys know better than anyone that sometimes I need to be punched."
> 
> He was joking, trying to diffuse growing tension with a half smile but it fell flat and Steve watched as Jonathan's face dropped.
> 
> Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm bACK!

Steve woke up warm. 

He was in pain, his face throbbed and the familiar feeling of tender bruises, both old and new, made it a little hard to breathe in, but he was _warm. _

He took a breath, wishing he could fall back asleep so he could bask in this comfort a little longer. He opened an eye, only one because the other was swollen already.

_"Steven Harrington, you should spend your birthday with the people who brought you into this world." _

_Steve blinked at his mother. "Uh, I don't mean any disrespect,"- which was definitely a lie, because he totally did- "but since when do you care? The last birthday that you were in this house for was my thirteenth and you didn't even get me anything." _

_His mother reared back at the venom in his voice and Steve felt a little guilty. This _was_ his mom. She used to read him bedtime stories in all sorts of funny voices, she taught him to cook with the patience of a saint and she held his hand when they had to show face at his father's many formal events. _

_At some point, unknown to Steve, she changed. _

_Pulled away, became cold and while she taught him what he needed, it was without that same love and patience that he craved. _

_"Steven-" She sounded scandalized, hurt and the irony of it all made his brief guilt melt away. _

_He stood and moved to step away from the table and leave to wait outside for Hopper, because he had people now. People who actually cared about him and listened what he had to say, people who he loved that loved him in return. He made it to the front door, turned the knob and pulled before he felt a tight grip on his shoulder and was spun around. _

_Steve's eyes widened and he let go of the knob, leaving the door open slightly. _

_His father stared back at him with narrowed and angry eyes and tense posture. The smell of alcohol reached Steve's nose. _

_Shit. _

He shifted slightly, attempting to ease some of the pressure off his bruises and looked down to see El and Max curled under his arm. They were pressed into his side, their hair curly messes and they both had dried tear tracks on their faces. 

Steve would've panicked had he not remembered the last time he saw El. The way she collapsed onto him with dark, serious eyes. 

_"Are you okay?"_

She must've known. 

Maybe Max told her or maybe Steve wasn't as secretive as he thought. 

He turned his head to the other side to see Dustin's familiar curls greeting him. Steve watched the boy's breathing for a moment, the calming rise and fall of his shoulders. 

Steve dreaded explaining this to him. He dreaded explaining it to them _all _because, while he didn't say it often, he loved them. He didn't tell them for the main reason that he wanted- no- he _needed _to protect them from it. 

But he _really _dreaded talking to Dustin. 

He had always thought it was cool that Steve's parents left him alone, he always thought it was sick that Steve could go to the store and just buy a bunch of video games for them because there wasn't anyone around to tell him not to.

He didn't know that everytime his parents would come home from whatever business trip he was on and his dad would drink a little too much, his mom would turn a blind eye and then they'd leave again. Steve would wake up with new bruises, shaking hands and a thousand more dollars in his bank account in lieu of an apology. 

Steve figured he could ride it out for one more year without bothering anyone with it. With demogorgons and demodogs and evil Russians running around, Steve figured there wouldn't even be _time _to deal with his dad. 

He was just too rich and too powerful to smack with a nail studded baseball bat or light on fire with a lighter. 

And besides, all he did was push Steve around a little. Nothing much. Steve didn't think it was important enough to drag into Jonathan and Nancy's lives, much less the _kids_. 

But, as Steve's eyes trailed over Robin, Jonathan, and Nancy's sleeping forms, he felt a weight lift off his chest and it felt so good that for a brief second, he didn't even feel the pain of his injuries. 

...

Surprisingly, the first one to wake was Robin.

She groaned, opening her eyes and Steve watched her blink slowly before she turned her head to look at him. 

"Steve!" She gasped softly. "You're up." 

"Yeah, I'm-" He winced, his head still hurting a little. "I'm up." 

He smiled, glad that Robin was okay, glad that she was still here, comfortable enough in the Byers home to stay here while he was resting, but his smile faltered when Robin's eyes filled with tears. 

"You-" She floundered for words for a moment- "_dumbass. _You absolute stupid shithead." 

Steve blinked his one good eye. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" She hissed. "I would've- I could've helped you! You could have stayed with me." 

Max and Lucas stirred, causing El to shift and wake. 

"I- I'm-" 

"You dumbass." Robin finished. "You're my best _friend. _You think- what?- that I wouldn't care? That I'd want to stop being friends with you?" 

Beside Steve, Dustin groaned and lifted his head, waking Nancy and Jonathan. 

"Rob, I-" 

"I _love _you dingus." Her voice softened. "And I'm _here _for you." 

Steve watched Robin, who had tears falling down her cheeks. She looked lost and worried- _scared- _and the fact that Steve was the reason for that made guilt fall heavy in his chest. 

He dislodged from El and Dustin and immediately pulled Robin into a hug. She melted into his chest and tucked her head under his chin. She squeezed her arms tight around him and it _hurt _but it was a good hurt. 

"I'm sorry Rob. I'm so sorry." 

"Don't apologize dingus." Came her muffled response. "Don't you _dare_ say sorry." 

"Sorry for saying sorry?" 

Robin paused before laughing wetly. "I'll let that one slide." 

Eventually Robin pulled away, looking happier and more relaxed than before and Steve sighed before his arms were full of children. 

"_Steve, _you asshole!" Max growled. She was careful as she hugged him, but definitely didn't shy away from the physical contact. "I can't _believe you-" _

"Harrington, don't you _ever _lie to me again!" Dustin shouted, bumping Steve's chest with his head. "I had no _idea _and you just let me believe whatever I wanted about those _shitty_ excuses for parents-" 

"I _knew _something was wrong!" Mike exclaimed as he tucked his head under Steve's arm. "I _knew. _That one time I called your house, I should've _asked-" _

"I'm going to shoot your dad with my slingshot." Lucas huffed, reaching around Max for Steve's shoulder. "I'm going to hit him right in the-" 

"Are you okay?" Will's hands were light as they brushed Steve's. "I can get ice for your eye. You probably need ice. Jonathan-"

El was quiet. She had collapsed onto him with just as much force as the others but stayed silent while they all rambled on. It was that silence that caused the rest of her friends to quiet down and pull away when she did. 

They all watched her with wide eyes but El leveled an intensed stare onto Steve. 

"You told me that you were okay." She whispered, her eyes dark. "You _promised." _

"I-" Steve sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I know. I know I did, I just-" 

_The hand on Steve's shoulder tightened before yanking him back into the kitchen. His mother had poured herself a glass of wine. The hurt look from before was gone and now a mask of indifference lay in it's place. _

_"Your mother said you should stay here." Henry growled. "So you should stay here." _

_"As if you actually want me here." Steve shot back. "You couldn't care less about my birthday. It's just another day for you." _

_Henry took a step forward and quick as lightning, struck Steve across the face. Palm open, no marks._

"I just wanted to protect you." Steve finished, ducking his head slightly. 

The kids raised their voices, trying to protest Steve, trying to talk over one another but this time Max silenced them by speaking sternly. 

"You told me that I could always come to you. That you would always listen and try to help. How would you feel if I stopped because I wanted to 'protect you'?" She asked and Steve's heart clenched. 

The idea of Max, struggling alone with Neil, shouldering all of that just to protect him made Steve want to _vomit_. 

His face paled. "O-okay. I guess I get it. I should've told you guys." 

Max nodded, albeit sadly and Steve moved his eyes from Max to Dustin. His eyes were big and sad as they trailed over Steve's injuries. 

"How often?" He asked. 

Steve sighed, expecting a question like this. He waited until Will, who had gone to get a bag of frozen peas, came back before he started. 

"They aren't even in the house that often." He shrugged tightly. His shoulder hurt from his father's grip, but his eye was still throbbing so he held the peas over his face. "So I'm lucky." 

A scoff from Max made him flinch. 

"Okay, not lucky." He amended. "But it could've been worse." 

"What happened?" 

Steve looked up to meet Jonathan's eyes. They were narrowed, angry, Steve nearly tensed in fear before remembering that _that's his boyfriend. _

Steve inhaled. 

_Steve had stumbled back from the force of the hit, but he stayed upright and met his father with defiant eyes. _

_"You can't just hit me to make me stay." He said. His voice was quiet but firm and sharp. Next to them, Steve's mother took another sip. "It's not like you're even up to celebrating anything anyway. You're drunk." _

_Henry's eyes widened and narrowed before taking a menacing step forward. "I can do whatever I damn well please in _my _house. And as long as you live in my home, you will do-" _

_"You aren't even home!" Steve exclaimed, his voice raising slightly. His father's lips tightened and Steve regretted his volume._

_ "You're never here." He continued, quieter now, but still with that same fury. "The last time you actually sat at that table and had a meal was four _years _ago. I remember it because you asked me about baseball, completely forgetting that I dropped it. But I was grateful-" Steve huffed a dark laugh- "-that you even tried." _

_And Steve didn't think this argument would spiral into every issue that Steve had, but now was as good a time as any. The next time his parents would come back home would probably be in another four years and by then, Steve would be gone. _

_Henry made a face, etched with and darkened by anger. The look in his eyes was flat and filled with hate. _

_When Steve was a kid he used to stay up and wonder if his father loved him. Ultimately, he came to the conclusion that yes, he did but Steve was so terrible at being a kid that he must've deserved it everytime he was slapped around. _

_His mother used to say, "I wish you wouldn't provoke him. He only wants what's best for you. You should listen to him." _

_But now, after about seventeen years of staring at the same hate-filled look, Steve couldn't believe that anymore. _

_And he certainly couldn't believe it as his father raised a hand to strike him across the face. Steve doubled over, immediately curling his hands over his face and flinching away as his father moved in for another hit. _

_Another open palm hit, the curve of his father's class ring knocking against his cheekbones painfully. "You _will _learn respect. I won't tolerate-" _

_Steve felt a strong grip on his shoulder, but this time it was gentler and it pulled him back to safety. He gasped when he saw Hopper's back and the gun but he whimpered when his father stalked forward. _

_"Stand down Mr. Harrington." Hopper's voice was loud and tight with anger but Steve could see that he wouldn't stop._

_He never would. _

_Steve couldn't stand by and let someone he cared about be hurt by his father. Henry Harrington was his demon, and his alone. _

_Steve moved quick despite his aches and stepped in front just as his dad reared his arm back. Steve inhaled sharply before blinding pain against his mouth knocked him back into Hopper. _

_"Steve!" _

_Hopper's shout and the taste of blood was last thing Steve felt before everything went dark. _

"I was mouthing off." Steve absently ran his tongue over his split lip. "I provoked him." Then he forced a smile, catching Jonathan's eyes. "You guys know better than anyone that sometimes I need to be punched."

He was joking, trying to diffuse growing tension with a half smile but it fell flat and Steve watched as Jonathan's face dropped.

Shit. 

"Steve-" Jonathan started. Then stopped. "You-" 

He closed his eyes, swallowed thickly before moving towards him. Steve's eyes widened as Jonathan came close and grabbed both his hands. 

"Steve." And now Jonathan's voice was gruff and serious. Firm and pleading. "You don't deserve this. There's nothing on this Earth that you could ever say to deserve-" 

Jonathan's eyes cut down to Steve's split lip and Steve felt his grip on his hands tighten.

"I love you." Jonathan continued. "_We_ love you. So please," He let go of one of Steve's hands and brought it up to cup the side of his face that _wasn't _bruised. "Don't say you deserved it." 

Steve subconsciously leaned into Jonathan's warm hand and nodded. "I- right." He swallowed. "Yeah." 

...

Joyce hurried in and fussed over Steve for a little before motioning for everyone to join in helping to get breakfast. Robin, despite not being thrilled about the prospect of cooking, helped corral the kids away from Steve and into the kitchen. 

"You stay here Steve." Joyce said, frowning when he moved to get up. "I know that cooking around here is normally your thing but I think I've picked up enough to fair well right now." 

She smiled but it was tinged with sadness. 

"And you too Jonathan, Nancy. Just- relax." She turned and left the room and the _Stay with Steve, _went unsaid. 

Steve sighed. He still felt guilty. For what, he didn't exactly know. It could've been for a multitude of things, not helping with breakfast, worrying the kids, bothering Joyce, giving Hopper more paperwork to do. 

He felt guilty for burdening Nancy and Jonathan with this when he would've been _fine _dealing with it alone. 

"I'm sorry." He whispered hoarsely. Steve didn't know who he was saying it to, or what he was sorry for, but the guilt was piling onto his chest, pressing down and making it hard for him to breathe. It was how he felt after seeing the shattered bits of a camera glittering on the pavement or looking back up at glaring red spray paint on the movie sign. 

It was all encompassing and saying sorry felt like the only way he could breath again. 

"Don't apologize." Jonathan said sternly. 

Steve knew that was supposed to be reassuring and helpful, but his tone only made Steve's chest squeeze harder. He wilted, curling his shoulder down, keeping his gaze trained on his knees. 

"Sorry." He whispered, feeling like his world was caving in. 

Nancy, who hadn't spoken all morning, leaned forward. "What are you sorry for?"

Steve inhaled. 

"I should've helped with breakfast." Is what came out of Steve's mouth. It wasn't what he intended but it was a million times easier to squeeze that out than anything else. 

Judging by Nancy's patient look, she could read him like a book. "Steve, don't you think that's a little unrealistic? You're still healing." 

She scooted closer so that her leg was pressed against Steve's. "And besides," She continued, "Lucas makes a mean bagel sandwich. The kids'll be happy to treat you." 

Despite himself, Steve shared Nancy and Jonathan's amused smile before it gradually faded. Nancy, following Steve's lead, frowned and on Steve's other side, Jonathan shifted closer, sensing the change in mood. 

"What's _really _bothering you Steve?" Jonathan asked, brushing their hands together gently. 

Steve's gaze flickered from Jonathan's face to Nancy's before decidedly landing on the carpet. 

"All my life, I've tried so hard to be enough for people. My parents, my friends, my teachers, my coaches. And I don't know why, but I always, _always _felt like I wasn't living up to expectations. I could always brush off friends and teachers and coaches. But my parents- my _dad-" _Steve's voice broke. 

Jonathan curled his hand into Steve's and Nancy gently leaned into Steve's side. 

"I have _never-" _Steve was whispering now. "_ever _lived up to his expectations. And it always hurt. It was the same every time and eventually you think I'd get used to it. I'd finally stop caring. But no. Every time hurt worse than the last." 

Jonathan nodded like he understood and Nancy pressed her nose into Steve's uninjured shoulder and inhaled. 

"So I guess who I'm apologizing to is you guys." Steve paused, his eyes watering. "For still trying after all those times. For thinking it could go any differently. For letting myself get hurt. For not telling someone. For dragging you all into it." 

"Don't say sorry for that." Nancy said immediately, her voice slightly muffled by Steve's sweater. "I wish- I wish you dragged me in sooner." 

"Me too." Jonathan said. "You aren't a burden and expectations don't mean shit here." 

Steve raised his eyebrows at the curse and Jonathan gave a sheepish smile.

"It's true." Nancy nodded. "Jonathan's right. You don't have to keep these things to yourself. You don't have to be super babysitter extraordinaire all the time." Then her tone lightened. "Even mothers have bad days." 

Steve laughed, and while it pulled at his split lip and his black eye, he felt lighter than air. 

...

Breakfast was loud, chaotic and everything that Steve loved about being over at the Byers home. 

The toast was burnt, the eggs were runny, the bacon was soft. At some point Max chucked a pepper shaker at Mike's head, Lucas spilled his orange juice all over the table and El accidentally put salt in Jonathan's coffee. Will had to keep ducking as Lucas recounted an exciting story, Joyce kept shooting Steve apologetic looks and Robin cuffed the back of Dustin's head about twenty times. 

It was crazy. It was wild. It was messy. 

It was _perfect. _

Steve sat there, in between Nancy, who was scowling at Mike for being annoying, and Jonathan, who was trying to subtly calm Lucas down so Will wouldn't have to keep craning away from his over excited arms. He sat there, across from Robin, who was scoffing at Lucas because his story was _definitely _made up, and Joyce, who was explaining to Max that _no, we do not throw pepper shakers at people, no matter _how _annoying they're being. _

Steve sat there, simultaneously overwhelmed and perfectly in tune because _this _was family. This was what family felt like. 

Because Dustin shook pepper out of his hair with a smile and Lucas immediately stopped gesturing so wildly when he saw that Will was shifting away and Mike stuck his tongue out at Nancy as a smile tugged at his lips. 

And when Hopper walked in the door and El jumped up in excitement, causing her to knock over yet _another _glass of orange juice, Joyce merely smiled. 

He came in, ruffled Steve's hair, pressed a kiss to Joyce's forehead and gave El a quick hug. He reached into the refrigerator, pulled out a huge sheet cake and smiled at Steve. 

"Happy Birthday Steve." 

"We're gonna have cake for breakfast?" Dustin exclaimed and Hopper shrugged as Joyce began to cut it into slices. 

"I mean, there _is _banana in it." 

The kids all got loud, asking for corner pieces, Jonathan and Nancy rushed to go get plates and Hopper had to stop El from using her powers to get the biggest slice.

Steve found himself with tears in his eyes _again. _

Because this- _this_ was good. This was what Steve had wanted for years and years and years. A family that was loud and chaotic and wild and weird and loving and _here. _He had _dreamed _about having something like this. 

And now he was finally, _finally _getting it. It was the best birthday gift he could've received. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (okay I totally forgot about the fact that it was Steve's birthday in the first draft but I fixed it because of a comment so !!! thanks!!!)

**Author's Note:**

> :O more than one chapter? who is she?? skskdk


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